Page 152 - Silence Speaks
P. 152

MY PAIN
ANGUISH
 Everyone has his own story of pain and sorrow. I too have mine, but that is of a different nature. When fortune favoured me, I got access to my master's feet and submitted myself entirely to His will. Soon I developed a peculiar state of mind which continued for a considerable period of time. After that I developed a feeling of impatience in me which persisted. It soon developed into a sort of restlessness and pain. After a time the pangs of it had aggravated so much that if anybody else, not in touch with spirituality, had it, he might have been inclined to commit suicide. But the feeling,  ̀³Let Thy will be done', which was deeply rooted in me, gave me courage and consolation to bear it.
I had that pain-longing, craving or restlessness, as one may be pleased to call it, so dear to my heart that for it I could sacrifice even thousands of lives of mine. I wish to have the same pain created in me again, which no joy or bliss can ever match. It had no parallel and for it one might be induced to forego
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