Page 241 - Bodhayanti Parasparam Vol 3

THIS AND THAT HAVE GONE NOW
one of the primary signs that we are really doing our work is a part of us wants to quit this service. That is what happens when we live and move in other persons karmic effects. Many a trainer has been telling this and more so when they were also involved in matters of some interpersonal conflicts. There are occasions when the trainers said that they were having an uncomfortable experience of having to frequently wake up while giving sitting and they wanted to leave the work.
In the work that we do as a trainer one of the signs of the genuineness is a part of us that frequently screams inwardly to get out of the situation. If this is considered as an evidence of lack of integration in our being we need to examine further. We know that we are all amalgams of so many sheaths or parts of being. And many of the Kosas never wanted anything like what we call ‘awakening’ or ‘realisation’ to begin with. I do not mean to say that we are all schizophrenics nor the aspirants belong to that category.
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