Page 147 - Ecstasy and Agony in the Journey to Infinity

action which gives the punishment. God does not punish us. A cruel God is somebody who is known to the west, not to the east. Ours is a benevolent God.
Only people who have ill will, envy, jealousy, greed will be in this plane. One who has crossed this will remain above. So this atma kshoba also is something that we get out of attachmet. If you are attached to Him, there is no atma kshoba as in my case because I never accepted that he has left me. A person called me offering a ticket to Shahjahanpur, I refused to go. He said, why don’t you come, you love the Master so much. I love Him so much, that I do not see the separation. You love him only so much in body, that is why you want to run. For me Babuji is never a body. The problem is getting stuck to the body. If there is no body to cling on to, where is the question of atma kshoba. The atma kshoba that we get is when people are not true to the system and are spoiling His name. That hell is what I have gone through and I know what it is. That is why when someone does not present the system properly, I get upset. I cannot take it easily, it is my kshoba. That is my attachment to it, because we are not making a good system available to others. We
129