Page 198 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

1. Mistakes do happen in life and we should not brood over them always. Doing sadhana as prescribed is most important. But that you can do only when you understand the system well. So read the literature published by ISRC well and donot confuse yourself that you know every thing about the system.
Depression
1. I must also report that I am very depressed since few weeks. I first thought this had nothing to do with the spiritual work, but I'm not so sure of that now, as I have noticed this condition increases regularly every 15 days, following the sitting cycle. Living everyday life has become a burden which I just can't succeed to manage correctly, and at some moments, I just want to die so deep is my sadness. I have nothing more to add.
The feeling of resignation and/or what you call depression is bound to be there since there is a paradigm shift from materiality to spirituality taking place in the psyche in the spiritual progress. This is essential and one needs to cross ones’ boundary to know the universal. But there need not be any discussion on this matter because all these are matters of experience. The young man like you, I know, I cannot believe talks of wanting to ‘die’. Spiritual field is not for cowards and it is a game of lions amongst men. You are one such. Donot feel depressed or gloomy as we believe it is blasphemous to think so. Master is all merciful and benevolent and there is nothing wrong that can happen to one who yields to the divine.
2. This month could not do my sadhana properly. Eventhough wanted to do strictly according to the system, when the time came for doing, was doing exactly oppsite. I do not know why? You are kind enough to allow me to continue in the system. Otherwise would have gone and left the world long back. Your kindness alone is still making me to survive and continue. Happy with whatever I have. You know better what to do.
Despondency and depression should never be allowed to over take us. Instead of taking the position that you could not do sadhana properly donot you think you should only report what has been done and allow me to say whether it is proper or not? Attachment to body and persons around us are the only reasons for not following any system; but then to some extent or the other every one has this