Page 615 - Bodhayanti Parasparam Vol 6

“The understanding comes when the seed at the bottom is fried up”
In the sittings, when I feel vastness, expansion etc, I realize how small I am and how insignificant I am. The infinite nature of the Master and the infinitesimal nature of mine are felt to the extreme. I am awe-stuck with wonder about the Master and I am strikingly aware about my smallness. In the vastness that is felt, I am nowhere seen. I feel at best like a sand particle on the shore of the ocean. There are infinite sand particles and I am one among them. There is great joy and happiness to know the fact that among the infinite particles, He has hand- picked me and is helping me. The Master said that to pick up a needle we need to use our fingers and not the crane. I wonder what tools he used to pick this little particle among infinite such particles and there seems to be nothing different or special that makes me stand apart from the rest. When our smallness is well established in our heart, when the fact that the Master has noticed me, picked me up and is helping me is established in our heart, what else do we need? What are we worried about? All the incidents in our life, all the day-to-day transactions can be looked at in proper perspective. This is helping me with increased levels of endurance and forbearance. Devotion to the Master and feelings of submission, yielding and surrender to the Master are increasing. As I realize that I know less and less, I have a feeling that others know better than me. This is helping me in improving my humility. When I look at most of the people, I find that there is something praise-worthy in each and every one. This is a major shift in my way of looking at people. Previously, I had been too judgmental and critical. I could easily look at the dark spots on white canvases. Now I am able to appreciate the white and bright patches better and the dark spots appear to be pale and insignificant. I am able to look at the positive side better.
615