Page 115 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

5. There is a constant restlessness to grow on the path. There is a mix of calmness and helplessness.
Growth is possible only when nurturing is there and growth is not had for just wishing. Do your sadhana as you should and the results automatically follow.
6. At one point I feel I want to do everything to improve my sadhana, my spirits are so high, I just want to improve my sadhana, I just don’t see anything else so important. Some of times I feel like it just got routine and looks like I am satisfied with what I am doing. This feeling keeps changing often like up and down.
A steep climb always is not that easy and God provides several plateaus on the path. When we climb we think we are progressing and when we move in the flat land we think we are not. But the truth is once a person is introduced into the Masters system there will always be improvement and the scenario changes very constantly even as in any travel.
7. I would like to be regular in my sadhana and in taking sittings. But unless I do the sadhana sincerely I am hesitant to meet you and unless I take Your Kind help I might not become serious in sadhana. I am finding it difficult to break this circle.
Apart from the reasons given by you, the reason for not making a firm decision to move further and farther in the path is only the effect of Bhog (in modern technology in education-Plateau) and that you will not be able to get over unless you gird up your loins-getting rid of pseudo intellectual explanations for lapses. I have nothing against you. I was however annoyed that you were not reporting as to the discharge of duties towards the Master and spreading of His message. It is one thing to look at our progress; it is another to discharge our commitments towards Master.
8. General Condition in the day: I have uniform condition throughout the day. The workload was heavy and I had to manage a big project at work. I could observe the balanced condition in me. I remember how unbalanced I used to be under such circumstances before joining the system. I used to make many mistakes in work as well as in dealing with others at work. I thank Rev Master for giving me this balanced condition. During this period, when I meditated, thought related to work was very less.