Page 222 - Bodhayanti Parasparam Vol 9
P. 222

accept. A few days later, I got another telegram informing that my sister died. We were very dear to each other and I knew that she wanted to marry someone the family may not approve. I cannot say that I hated God at that moment but surely I had to revise my opinions about the person whom we dearly call Babuji Maharaj. How could a loving God allow this to happen to such wonderful persons? Is God really Just?
In pain I sought for answers but the answers rang empty, hollow, unsatisfying. I can say at that moment my internal journey or spiritual journey started. Quite a lot of correspondence with my revered father and the Master took place and I visited Master more than once during that year. I tried to find answers reading from Buddhism, Zen etcetera and none could give me the answers to the pain in heart. I did not reject God but became agnostic. Then I could not offer anything but a listening ear and a word of prayer. Even in my pain I was drawn to find answers outside of the physical world and I think this is because Master has set the goal of eternity in my heart and I was seeking more and more within. I came to know that man’s heart is inexplicably drawn to the spiritual (aprthak siddha sambandha or inexplicable inter relationship

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