Page 213 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

more joy & freedom. This is a significant shift in my thinking that I could never have imagined before sadhana. Feel gratitude towards Master for the same. It is sheerly His Grace that has brought this change. With this, the determination to follow Him in toto has increased. Also with this change, lot of mental churn I felt, that surfaced the attachments that are hindering and towards which I feel helpless. For instance, I sometimes get nervous whether I will be able to provide good care to my children. The eshnatrayas are starkly felt and consequently I feel only dependent on Him to discharge my duty. I also get reminded that I am a mere trustee which gives relief when mind gets perturbed because of the attachments especially to kids. However, it is evident to me that I am yet to own up attitude of a trustee.
It is a hard decision that you took but surely a good one if you take into consideration the duty to realise your true nature (which I find you use a different term “define”) When once we are defined you would agree with me that you have set limits for you and that is not our goal. Concern is entirely different from being nervous. You have the means and determination to do good to those dependant on you and so far as this is clear you have understood what trusteeship is. Actual circumstances will surely put you in different states of mind at different times but our cleaning and mediation apart from prayer takes care of that.
More on Trusteeship:
1. We should learn to think the work itself is a trust given to us by the Master and go about the task in an attitude of nishkama karma. When we are in a work situation and are responsible and accountable it is but natural certain times we find ourselves in not a too healthy relationship with coworkers and superiors or supervisors. But that is all there in life.
2. As a matter of fact this system is for householders only. Doing things at the appropriate time is wisdom. Master has suggested a way out of the problem by asking us to do everything as a duty entrusted by Him. But our self is too big. What to do? That is what we have. Try to remember Him who never forgets to remember you.
Doership