Page 214 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

1. In effect feelings left behind by the problem troubles me and NOT the problem itself.
In which case there is the doer still active. Know that this is a big struggle with Ego. Be determined to become humble and feel your total insignificance.
2. Overall I am persistent and my faith in the path is strong. Atleast two of my meditations was disturbed due to some family related problems. Basically, I was holding to thoughts. But I continued for 1 hour in meditation. Then I took a break for 10 mins and again meditated for 30 mins or so. Then I felt very calm and totally in his thought with single point orientation. If I did not meditate properly in the 1 hour, then I came back after small break and meditated again.
Meditations are done with a suggestion that there is a divine light with out luminosity in the heart. We continue to be in meditation ignoring all the thoughts-good, bad and indifferent. Your attitude of evaluating your meditations and then feeling it is not good and therefore doing it again is all the problem of your ‘doership’ and in fact not being in the mode of accepting whatever comes. There is no point in meditating again for the sake of feeling better. That is not the way of compliance and yielding to the will of the Master. You need to understand that while meditating lot of superfluous thoughts get thrown out. They are the dirt and refuse that we have collected very deligently. All of our samskaras do not get exhausted in one or a few meditations. It takes to purge them out even as they were collected over a period of time. Please read the articles of Master on the subject as well the books of ‘Bodhayanti Parasparam’ relating to this topic carefully.
3. Attitude of waiting mode of consciousness has come to some extent during meditation but also I find the mind quite restless. How to make the active mind silent is the bothering issue, is it due to the active intellecting process? How to improve further? I seek your kind help in this regard.
The doer so long as he is there even dependency is not fully had. Your being a doer is the problem. Yielding is what you need to learn. Intellect has its own limitations. Active mind can be calmed down by reduction of activity (see commandment 4), expectation and greed. It takes time to mature and one need to wait otherwise the fate may not be different from that of Anoora.