Page 84 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

30. Missing many times due to laziness.
It is for you to decide and gird up your loins as Master puts it.
31. The restless tendencies of mind have reduced which I am able to feel it during meditation and also during 9.00 clock prayer and Bed time prayer. My mind is able to be more attentive while offering prayer.
Learn to repent and seek forgiveness while praying and I donot understand much by the words that you are attentive during prayer. To whom – you? Him? Problem? Please do learn to pray.
32. On days when I come home late or when I had to engage visitors late in the evening I sit for 5 min in prayer before going to bed. I feel I am doing this mechanically as most of the time I spend only about 5-10 min. I am not spending enough time for this sadhana. Even on days when I spend lot of time I find it very disheartening as I noticed that my repentance is “mind- felt” and not “heart-felt”.
Perfection in prayer is not achieved that easily. Prayer is also the last condition even as it is the first. Trust in yourself and the Master alone is the way out. Donot worry too much about these intellectual differences. Whether it is mind or heart it is you only.
33. I have to do more on this front. My sincere effort is on.
Prayer is the master key for every thing in spirituality. Please try to be in a state of prayer always.
34. Feel like Master’s grace is always there inspite of me not cooperating to my level best. Praying to the Master to give me the right thinking and attitude.
Never give a negative suggestion to yourself. You are fine and you are doing even better. Divine always rewards every good action including a good thought. Keep the thoughts of the Master with you in the heart and it will become purer by the day.
More on Bedtime Prayer: