Page 29 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

That is good sensitivity but once the process is known and understood it makes little sense to continue to note these details.
92. During Meditations: On a couple of occasions, I got into torpor and I was unaware that I was following thoughts.
Torpor and awareness that you are following the thoughts do not go together. Be candid in your writing.
93. During Meditations: When I suddenly got awareness that I am supposed to meditate, I paused a few minutes and restarted the meditation.
There is no need for freshly starting the meditation but if you are aware that you were meditating it is enough as the original suggestion is already rooted in the subconscious. Thus we reduce the conscious participation allowing the Divine Light to do the rest. This uniqueness of taking work from the sub conscious mind is the secret of giving a suggestion in the beginning and leaving it there unmindful of thoughts that may arise during meditation. This is unique to Rev.Babuji’s system.
94. During Meditations: Feeling of a soothing deep calmness, awareness of HIS presence; Feelings of unconditional love for Master felt from the bottom of the heart predominantly; Deep feelings of love and devotion to Master. Pious thoughts were predominant in the beginning. Thoughts related to work and fiancé were present for some time. Amidst everything, feelings of calmness and balance were felt throughout till the end; Got very late for meditation but was compelled to do as I felt that I need to develop giving the utmost priority to God and Master first. Deep feelings of love and devotion for Master. Pious thoughts and feelings of union with Master was deeply felt. Deep attachment with Master was predominant feeling.
These are feelings which promise speedy progress in the path. Attachment to Master is first relationship that needs to be fully cognized and duty to realise is our first priority. Once these are established in our hearts the remaining portion of the work is a matter of time.
95. Morning meditation has varied. Some days a lot of ache, pain & lack of inclination and a tendency to get up prematurely & then sitting and continuing. Other days more settled & quiet.