Page 33 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

110. Throughout the meditations it has been silent, and sometimes it was silence with awareness. There was a yielding attitude and I was able to disown thoughts.
You cannot disown your thoughts. They are yours. You need to ignore them. They may still persist and you should persist in ignoring them.
111. There is a recurring thought during my sadhana and this thought is presistent throughout the day. All my efforts to find a job have been fruitless and this is affecting my sadhana very much. I am not able to come out of this feeling which is also affecting my confidence, and is contributing to many other side effects. I would like to know how to approach this situation, I need help.
I donot know what is the problem of employment in your place and these things are not in any way connected to sadhana. If you get thoughts related to job during meditation that means that you are not doing the meditation as advised. You are supposed to meditate on the divine light without luminosity ignoring all thoughts. If you do not ignore those thoughts it is but natural you feel disturb. The thoughts do not disturb any one it is the only we who disturb ourselves.
112. Feeling of void, subtle and silence after meditation.
You may kindly note to use the word Void loosely is not proper.
113. Many times I felt meditation reaching depths of my heart. But at times I did feel as if HIS thoughts stays on surface and some uncomfortable feeling was felt as if yearning for deeper feeling. At such times, I took it as is and I was not putting any effortful meditation. Also sometimes there was some pressure as if I am moving up a mountain although I could not identify concrete thoughts at such times. Within days, I was feeling a sigh of relief again with no associated thoughts.
Due to sensitivity you are able to feel this shade and that is good. Resignation to the will of the Master is a learning of several lessons.
114. Attitudes: Sir, Most of the times the thoughts are related to sadhana. In many occasions the thoughts are that how I should improve my attitudes which could be hindrance to express myself better and do service of the Master. During the hectic official days I observed thoughts of those nature