Page 81 - Three Truths - Trillion Doubts - Volume -II

earlier.
Read again and again articles on Prayer and understand over a period of time that “asking is not praying and praying is not asking.”
16. Bed time Prayer: Regular but only a few times tears came. Other times feel sincerity is not upto the mark.
Getting tears is not any sign of sincerity. It is a weakness of heart many times. Your ego seems to be too high that you can feel insincere even before Master during prayer. Do not fool yourself with imaginary notions. Read the articles on prayer and follow the path.
17. I am making a sincere effort in offering bed time prayer but it is not to my satisfaction.
You be sincere and let Master decide about its quality.
18. As I start any meditational practice, initially there is some resistance or a kind of dis-inclination which vanishes after few minutes. With this kind of inner resistance I find some difficulty in practicing bed time prayer as the mind is not getting settled easily.
If the mind gets settled easily why then pray? My advice has been “pray that you pray and continue to pray so that prayer may continue”and you seem to ignore the advice and still seek my help.
19. Certain amount of sincerity I am able to develop with respect to all the meditational practices but still I find lacking seriousness for the bed time prayer. Few minutes the thought rests but I am not able to do assiduously.
It is very funny that the art or is it science of weeping that all of us learn from the moment of birth becomes very difficult to practice later as we grow. When innocence and ignorance takes over weeping at our state is natural; till then mimic.
20. Feeling of dependency on Master is felt but that is not getting totally translated into subduedness, I am seriously lacking in performing bedtime prayer for which I seek your kind guidance and help.